Posts by lifelong humanist

24

Do You Have "Contempt" For The Witnesses?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i do.

i totally feel disdain for the organization.

they suck..

lifelong humanist

minimus

The ones that blindly follow the lead of the WTS are just totally misled, mind-controlled people - I feel compassion and fellow-feeling for their sorry, sad state. I count myself lucky to have DAd 6 years ago and relish my new-found freedom.

As for the ones pulling the strings at the WTS, for those that know exactly what they're doing, I feel that they are 'criminals' and should be punished accordingly for their part in the willing deception of their misguided followers. I reserve judgement on all at the top, as some of these men might not be 'willing' workers, perhaps in the same sorry state as their unfortunate adherents...but I don't know the facts. Time will tell when the WTS fizzles out and those at the top have to find a real job in a totally secular society!

32

Give Your Advice To Anyone Planning To Fade

by minimus in

jw
friends

list some thoughts and suggestions for anyone thinking about fading from the organization..

lifelong humanist

minimus

I DA'd myself as I thought that that was the most 'honest' approach to adopt. The consequences were of lesser importance to me - finding closure was the main accomplishment that my voluntary action achieved. As it happenned, the consequences weren't really too bad.

I also (mistakenly) thought that my wife, who's still in, would act likewise - however, she didn't, which surprised me, but she's still fading at an alarming rate at present.

From my experience, I can understand the pros and cons of acting decisively, or just slowly disappearing from those observing the activities of individual JWs that have become disenchanted with the cult.

Each individual must think and act as their circumstances dictate and take a bit of a gamble on how things will pan out.

Good luck in whatever choice you decide to take!

33

Does everyone else get this reaction from their JW family when discussing objections to the religion?

by jambon1 in

jw
friends

when pointing out my objections to the jw religion with my wife, i have noticed a worrying trend which even after 3 or 4 years shows no sign of relenting.. after speaking calmly for an hour or so and logically pointing out my objections, my wife starts to put forward outrageous assertations about my points.

for instance, if i am refering to the fact that disfellowshipping is a form of extreem punishment & i mention the terrible effects that being d/f'd can have on people, she will eventually retort with something like "so what you are saying is that we should tolerate paedophiles, rapists & thieves in the organisation then?".

of course, i've never at any point said anything of the sort.. or if i have been overly critical of the amount of control the society wants over peoples lives, she would reply "so what you are saying is that we should all just go out & do what we want, get drunk & live an immoral life?

lifelong humanist

jambon1

In his reply, leavingwt recommended a book to read that would help (this was also recommended to me by him in a topic I started about helping my wife quit around 1 month ago). I took his advice and bought the book. I think the information contained therein is of a high quality and presents the reader with a strategic approach that has worked in assisting cult members leave not just JWs but others as well. I cannot say yet that applying the points raised have worked for me as of yet, but I'm more optimistic now, and somewhat reassured by the authors firsthand experience of success in what is an extremely difficult area of psychology.

Whatever you decide - to buy the book or not, good luck to you in what must be an extremely important endeavour on your part to free your wife from the nasty cult of JWs!

73

What will the JW religion be like in 2015?

by JimmyPage in

jw
friends

over 100 years into the reign of christ and six more years of damage from the internet.

.

what do you envision?.

lifelong humanist

JimmyPage, I initially thought that JWs will fare just as badly as all other religions, with the possible exception of Islam, which may grow slightly stronger in less advanced cultures. Society in general is becoming more and more secular. The more advanced the society, the weaker the influence religion can exert. In my experience, most people that claim to be religious are not really being honest with themselves - their main interest is just in belonging to a group for the social benefits it brings them along with any feel-good-factor to separate thgem from atheists and agnostics.

As a Scottish humanist living in Scotland, I feel that an ever increasing number of people will come to view all religion as nothing but a devisive, out-of-date system run by either naive, emotionally unstable, or power-hungry individuals to exert control over others. Humanists can live highly moral lives without having to factor-in any god, or religious book of rules of behaviour to advise them as to what is right or wrong, good or bad. Any judgemental element can still play a part by activating our individual consciences to try and make the world a better place for future generations.

However, having considered your question more carefully, I reckon JWs future probably will deteriorate faster than the average religious group as more members have the confidence to go online and find out many unpleasant facts about their religious origins. Recruiting new members will not make up for the mass exodus of disenchanted ex-believers. Their demise may be sooner than 2015, especially if governments start to put a curb on the more nasty, cultish groups and the damage they cause to society. Jws must be pretty high up in that list of dangerous mind-control groups that need to be brought to book.

23

new here

by buggerly in

jw
friends

this is my first post.

i daed 2 years ago.

i was raised in 'the truth' and was rather rudely awakened by the lack of love.

lifelong humanist

Welcome buggerly - whatever made you chose this avatar?

Now that you've left JWs, things can only improve - you'll find that love is all around you outside JWs - and most people you meet are not trained to only have a conditional love.

7

How do they do it?

by Trevor Scott in

jw
friends

i've been out of "the truth"tm for a few years now.

my exit was the direct result of so-called "apostate" information on the internet.

i literally stumbled upon an "apostate" website while googling something and thank god resisted my initial (programmed) response to run for my life.. i spent the next 6 months researching using every website, book, and individual i could get my hands on before finally sending in my da letter; but the fact is, that first website contained the real truth about the watchtower religion and in all honesty, i recognized it almost immediately.. so what i wonder is, how do those "jws" that frequent sites like this do it?

lifelong humanist

They can do it Trevor because that is what they want to do. JWs can be exposed to countless facts that prove that they belong to a nasty cult, but if they don't want to accept the evidence, then they'll conveniently ignore it and continue on as if nothing happened . As many former JWs can testify, the consequences of acting responsibly to the facts and quitting are often very difficult to cope with. I believe that a large percentage of current JWs acknowledge that they do not have the 'truth', but don't want to rock the boat. If DFing and DAing were no longer JW policy, perhaps 75% would quit overnight! Now there's an interesting scenario to contemplate!

17

Are ExJWs That Much Different Than JWs In Their Behavior?

by minimus in

jw
friends

sometimes i wonder whether or not we're any different than the witnesses we criticize .

we criticize jws for lacking love, temperance and fellow feeling.

no one likes to be judged but it seems we do our share of unfair judging at times.

lifelong humanist

minimus, I reckon that when I was a former JW that I was a fairly balanced person. It is now obvious to me that since leaving, I wasn't at all! I've worked hard to become far more tolerant of others opinions/actions that don't happen to agree with mine. I make a positive effort to always look for the good in others, rather than ponder over the faults. This has made making friends much easier and I enjoy much better relationships with work colleagues, neighbours, etc. It enables me to be my true self, rather than acting in my former pre-programmed state, and people that knew me prior to quitting JWs have commented favourably on my improved, more patient and understanding nature. Life has become more fulfilling!

20

Why is the act of stopping meeting attendance so significant?

by dozy in

jw
friends

one aspect of the leaving jw process has long puzzled me why can a fading jw become mentally disinterested , miss loads of meetings , become irregular in the ministry , perhaps even become involved in minor worldly conduct without too much concern from relatives or the elders over a period of years , even decades.

yet as soon as they make it become known that they are not going to the meetings anymore, all hell breaks loose.

elders dust down their od books and come calling on shepherding visits , perhaps for the first time for many years.

lifelong humanist

dozy It is as other posters have said, when you actually state that you no longer comply or want to do something anymore that's an essential part of being a JW, action ensues simply because the elders have been 'trained' to respond with the full inquisition techniques. Probably, they know that their attempts to have you 'walk the line' again and attend the occasional meeting will be futile, but they have to go through the motions nonetheless. Taking such action enables them to be able to inform the congregation as to why you no longer attend meetings, probably proceed with a JC and shortly announce that you're either DFd or perhaps,have DAd yourself. That pretty much wraps everything up neatly, then everyone in the JWs will begin to do what they've been carefully programmed to do - shun you!

25

Letter sufficient grounds for DFing?

by dozy in

jw
friends

a question here mainly for ex-elders etc , though all input would be helpful.. a letter that i wrote some time ago confidentially to an elder regarding the usual issues about the gb etc has come into the hands of a couple of members of the congregation who are regarding it a prime facie evidence that i am an apostate.

though the letter isn't especially incriminating as such , it does flag up several mistakes that the wtbts has made.

the brother has described me as "verging on apostate.".

lifelong humanist

dozy

I'm sorry that you find yourself in this unpleasant situation. Most JW elders don't repect other's privacy, and if they think that there is a serious problem, they'll spill the beans and inform the body - that's what destructive cults do. They feel good about it too!

As a former elder, I only acted on 1 JC, and it was a nasty experience. Afterwards, I said that I was disgusted with the whole process and refused to sit on any others. I've been JW free for over 6 years, having DAd myself.

My understanding might not be bang up-to-date, but your letter could be used as the basis to question you, although no JC would be set up unless your answers to their questions show that you are still critical of the WTS. In itself, the letter wouldn't be enough.

If the heat is turned up, you could of course say that you now wish to retract any of the statements you made in the letter, although, if you still feel the same way now as when you wrote it, that'd probably go against your principles.

Good luck with what might turn out to be an extremely awkward situation for you.

47

How Do You Pronounce ...

by snowbird in

that caffeine-saturated beverage that most people drink very hot first thing in the morning?.

there's a transplanted new yorker here who calls it "kuffy.".

any takers?.

lifelong humanist

Although coffee is recognized as an Arabic drink - most people say it was first grown in Ethiopia, most people 'in the know' reckon that the Italians produce the best tasting espressos - in my opinion, their caffe is d'un ottimo caffe! I used to have a small coffee business to sell to some of the best cafe's and restaurants in Scotland.

The Italians even invented the Espresso machine (in Milano) to extract the very best flavour and aroma of the ground bean with just the correct crema floating on top. I like mine without sugar and start the day with 2 double espressos in my Rancilio machine - the best £450 I've ever spent.

The taste is quite superb!